Random Wrong Lindsay Thought of the Week

How many Lindsay Andersons are there in this world?

Greetings from Banff

I’ve never been to Banff or even Canada for that matter, but thanks to a little Wrong Lindsay candy I just got in my inbox, I’ve been magically transported to the frozen tundra and majestic mountains. For those who actually know me, they know: I don’t hike (really) and I don’t camp. Then they’ll have fun telling you the story of how when I was younger I went camping with my family and didn’t use the bathroom for an entire week because I was afraid of the daddy longlegs in the campground’s ladies room [An aside: the better story as you can probably imagine is what happened when I returned to civilization]. But the Wrong Lindsay…She can hike!...She can camp!...She can take photos at the top of a mountain!

Now if I only knew which Patagonia-sporting one I was…

Sugar

Of all excuses I’ve heard on why someone couldn’t make it to a Spandex Party, this quite possibly takes the cake. But something about a rabbit named Sugar, flashlights and spandex all in the same e-mail is pretty convincing. And Mary, those pictures can definitely WAIT.

Subject: Sugar

Mary,

How was your spandex party? hee hee hee..... I bet it was a blast. Would love to see the photos. Sorry I didn't make it. I left my sister's rabbit, Sugar, in the backyard and couldn't find him when I came home. It was a complete disaster involving flashlights, neighbors and the like. Finally found him a few hours later - he'd dug a hole under the crawl space of the porch and refused to come out. Aaggghhhh, could have killed him.

H

Potluck Polygamy

So my good friend Craig was back in touch about his next Potluck. You may remember I missed his Thanksgiving Potluck because I don't really know him :). Anyways, he threw the last one with Neema, who I suspected was his loving, caring wife. However, now it appears Neema's out of the picture and in has entered Alison, who Craig describes as his really "good friend." I wonder what really happned to Neema? Or maybe this seemingly wonderful apartment with this crazy eight foot long red velvet sofa is Craig's own mini brothel? And Potluck really stands for a Swinger's party. Looks like Alison already broke in the couch. Who's next?

Hi everyone,

It's the holidays and this weekend the holiday parties will be in full swing. Let's do a potluck next week before everyone starts leaving for the break. This time Neema won't be in town so my good friend Alison is going to be helping me host. She's an excellent cook and was a star at our potlucks in Seattle, so we're in good hands during Neema's absence. If you're feeling in the spirit, feel free to bring something holiday-related... whatever that means to you. :)
-Craig and Alison

Here are the details... :)
****It's a Tuesday potluck dinner, and you and your dish are invited... Come experience the wonders of an 8 ft plush red velvet couch! Eat food made by strangers! Win a balloon animal!
Bring something yummy (entree, sidedish, salad, dessert) and come over at 8pm on Tuesday.
A few guidelines if they don't have potlucks where you come from:
Bring something that you can chew. Wine is great as an addition.Feel free to bring a friend if you'd like, and ask them to bring something yummy as well. A dish per person is a good rule to go by. Don't get any "one dish per group" ideas, slackers.We have serving utensils, but bringing them is a bonus, in case we run out.

Use the buzzer or call Craig... and we'll let you in, then get the stairs or elevator to the 2nd floor. We're #204 in the corner. See you Tuesday!

- Alison and Craig

Enough Drama

Let's lighten it up a bit. It's not my intent with this blog to make enemies or offend anyone. Rather just highlight the humor in receiving some of these crazy e-mails that usually have me guessing for a few minutes if I actually know this person or not. I know you all know that, but consider it my disclaimer moving forward.

Now for a hilarious Wrong Lindsay from a while ago. I have an awesome boyfriend, but he has never sent me these sort of sweet nothings (or an e-mail with this use of double..sometimes triple and quadruple consonants). Everything about this e-mail just makes me smile and makes me believe I really am someone's frigginn pumpkinnn.

heyyyyy youu...itss likee tenn to 6...i talked to youu problyyy about halff an hour agoo..butttt i was justt eatingg supperr anddd gott this really weirdd feelingg..a good onee..anddd i justt wantedd to droppp a quickk linee..iii hopee youu gott a good sweatt on for me att the gymm tn..(bum better still be perfect)...andddd i donoo i justt miss you alottt andd soo any chanceei gett to talk to youu orr evenn do onee of these im gonna takee ittt..myyyy hockeyy startss at 8 30 tonightt so i shouldddd be able to cal aroundd the same time...maybee a couplee mins laterrr. Soo i willll talk to you sooonn you frigginn pumpkinnn:)

-phillip.......wave goodbye

Getting in the Holiday Spirit

There's only one thing better than opening your inbox and having oodles of holiday party evites reminding you just how popular you are -- getting other people's holiday happiness too! It's Bad Holiday Sweater, Egg Nog and Dirty Santa galore!

So you can only imagine my delight when I was invited to The Gottman's Christmas Cocktails. Two of my favorite things about this invite: in the middle of nowhere Illinois you can use Christmas to define all holidays and not offend anyone AND you can discriminate between toddlers and newborns (at The Gottmans, newborns are welcome, but not toddlers).

Well Merry Christmas to you! Can I bring my sister's yorkie?

** Editors Note: These Gottman people are slick characters. They actually realized they sent it to the Wrong Lindsay and removed me from the guest list. Hmmph! I'll show them Christmas Cocktails.

Double Booked for Turkey Day

When you're the Wrong Lindsay you somehow have to make Thanksgiving appearances in both Houston, TX and San Francisco, CA. I am thinking this could get tricky and I am pretty sure I don't want to find out what would happen if I came sans potluck to this party. These West Coast folks seem pretty hardcore about their casseroles and the other guests might start wondering how I got invited in the first place.

And this is so not in the holiday spirit of me, but Craig wasn't kidding about getting the e-mail wrong. Because guess what? He's STILL wrong. Gawd, even on the second try. I wonder who got his first failed attempt? 'Cause it wasn't me. Just imagine the mayhem that would ensue if two Wrong Lindsays show :).

Craig to me 7:41 PM (16 hours ago)

Always get your email wrong for some reason. :)

---------- Forwarded message ----------From: Craig Date: Mon, Nov 23, 2009 at 4:38 PM
Subject: Post Thanksgiving Potluck!
To: Neema

Hi everyone,

Since you'll be just over your food coma from Thanksgiving, we figured it was time to enter the holiday season with a potluck! Next week, Tuesday, Dec. 2nd at 8pm. We hope you're getting to spend this weekend with friends and family. See you next week!!

Here are the details... :)
****It's a Tuesday potluck dinner, and you and your dish are invited... Come experience the wonders of an 8 ft plush red velvet couch! Eat food made by strangers! Win a balloon animal!

Bring something yummy (entree, sidedish, salad, dessert) and come over at 8pm on Tuesday.

A few guidelines if they don't have potlucks where you come from:
Bring something that you can chew. Wine is great as an addition.
Feel free to bring a friend if you'd like, and ask them to bring something yummy as well.
A dish per person is a good rule to go by. Don't get any "one dish per group" ideas, slackers.
We have serving utensils, but bringing them is a bonus, in case we run out.

If you're driving, parking on 15th is really easy. If you're using BART, we're a block away from the 16th St. BART station. Use the buzzer and we'll let you in, then get the stairs or elevator to the 2nd floor. We're #204 in the corner. See you Tuesday!

- Neema and Craig